


Missing Pieces

by Soann



Series: Healing isn't a linear path [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, Don’t copy to another site, Judai really isn't fine for a while but he does his best, Other, Soulshipping mostly, The Spiritshipping is present but not the main focus, most of GX's main cast gets a cameo or at least a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 19:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20069431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soann/pseuds/Soann
Summary: When Yubel and Judai fuse, neither of them is okay for a while. They try, though. They try.





	Missing Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> So... I had been writing small post-season 4 snippets for months (because while thematically speaking GX's ending is great and emotional and makes sense, they seriously stopped just before one of the best show premise I've ever read, just think: "Young ex murderous warlord with godly powers married to a genderqueer demon/dragon living in his soul and accompanied by a cat who ate the soul of his dead master (the warlord's ex teacher) is now trying to find people with magical powers to help them with them ". I'd watch that shit instantly.).  
But suddenly two days ago (the day before Judai/Yubel's big entrance in duel links, woohoo!) I got hit with a wave of soulshipping feels and started maniacally redacting more excerpts, this time happening during S4 (might explain why there isn't as much Yubel in the post S4 ones, huh). So yeah, suddenly I started reworking it all so it fits in the same continuity and yeah, ended up with a 7000 words monster in just one evening. Woops.  
There are a lot of HCs of mine in there, I hope you enjoy them! I didn't get to make a reference to every single theory I love, but I did get some of my favourites here.  
Not Beta-ed, I hope my English is alright as it's not my first language ^^'

When Judai's soul fuses with them, when his darkness obliterates the wretched light that lived in their heart, Yubel feels a moment of clarity and relief. There's surprise in there too, and shame, and maybe just a tad of confusion. There's still a small lonely part that doesn't understand everything that was done to them and why.

But then another set of memories washes over them and it hurts. It hurts more than the millennia of loneliness or the years of torture because they get it, and it hurts, it hurts how much they hurt the one they'd given everything to protect.

"Oh," they think. "Oh. I'm so sorry."

And there are tears and a promise as they hold his unconscious body in their arms. In their heart, in their now forever united souls they promise to do better by him.

The pain is unbearable at first. Everything about him is changing. His body is being torn to pieces and his soul is screaming, forced to reform itself anew in a way it was never meant to. It’s painful and when the _hurt_ is so awful he forgets who he is and what the air sounds like when he isn’t screaming, everything lashes out around him. When he's conscious enough of his surroundings, he prays that he isn't hurting anyone else.

Sometimes he hears other screams around him, and he knows who they belong to. Knowing that Yubel (who he's hurt and made insane and he's so, so sorry) is in the same pain he is only makes it worse.

When they're a little better, they look around them and they can hear a confused, tired thought.

"Why me?" They hear him wonder. "Why am I still in my body?"

Yubel wants to answer him seriously. The snark comes without thinking.

"It just looks like you. Your body didn't have my beautiful eyes."

And he laughs when he hears their voice and the sound is so relieved they can't even bring themselves to feel bad about it. When was the last time they heard him laugh? He is more tired than he ever was and almost drunk with afterpain, but he laughs and they love him more than anything.

The guilt is an unwelcome but not unexpected feeling. Mostly because it belongs to Judai and it's unfair that he has to feel guilty. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to. They just watch the sky in silence, together.

"You do have beautiful eyes," he says, "you always did."

"Well lucky you, you can wear them now. Don't let anyone tell you they look weird."

"Why not? I like weird."

He's exhausted, they know, but his hands fall on a card and a stray thought goes through his mind. Yubel does their best to stop themselves from scowling.

"Johan…"

"His family is fine and with you. Don't worry, he can wait just a little more."

He doesn't like that, they know. _'He can'_, he thinks, _'but does he really have to?'_ And Yubel doesn't say anything because the man they love is stubborn and the one thing that can stop him is his own body's limits.

Judai closes his eyes and finds his cards in his hands. Rainbow dragon is here, ready to help him cross the borders between dimensions. He doesn't really need it anymore, Yubel knows, but the option is nice.

Despite all his determination, Judai takes a long time to stand up.

"I expected the fusion to be different," he says.

"You were human," they remind him, "it makes sense that the fusion wouldn't be as perfect as when two spirits perform it."

It makes sense and neither really dislikes that fact. Yubel would have hated stealing more of his life. Judai would have missed his friends. It's the best of both worlds, but he feels guilty, no surprise here.

"I like it," they tell him, "you have my powers, and I have your back. It's perfect for me."

He hums quietly and then, softly, says "I have your love and you have mine."

And it hurts more than expected, but they send him all the reassurance they can give.

"Neither of us will ever be alone again."

“Right."

"I'm sorry." They say.

"I'm so sorry." He answers. And what do you say to that. They've hurt each other a lot, Judai by accident, Yubel through misunderstandings and corruption. Sorry won't take away the pain, they can only try to do better.

"You love him too."

"I do."

"I don't like him. He's too possessive."

Which is the pot calling the kettle black, no doubt. Not that they care.

"He's a lot like you, in some unexpected ways."

And this is probably the real reason they disliked Johan Andersen so much. When they looked at him they saw their old eyes and hair, their determination to protect Judai and their love for him. It was like watching a distorted mirror that made them more beautiful.

Jealousy really was an ugly trait.

"You are going to tell him."

"He deserves to know."

"What will you do if he rejects me?"

There is no hesitation and it hurts them as much as it's a relief.

"Well you are part of me now. There is no me without you. He'll have to accept that."

The alternative of Johan Andersen simply casting him out of his life is too painful to bear and Yubel thinks that despite how much they dislike him, they'd rather apologize profusely to the boy than inflict that kind of suffering on the love of their life.

The world is silent around them. So are the spirits of the boy they’re talking about, fortunately.

A little before leaving, Judai looks in the water. He looks older, he thinks, and other. He knows some is due to the experiences he went through, but how much? Hard to know.

When he comes back, Sho is overjoyed and crying and really, Judai missed the little guy. He didn't miss the distance that had been between them since the day they met that grew a little every time Judai helped him and grew a lot when he didn't.

He lets Sho talk and ramble with a smile and feels fond annoyance when he hears Manjoume ate his share, but inside he mostly feels sheer terror.

"Yubel?" He thinks. "Where are you? I can't feel you."

"I'm here," they answer weakly, "I just think I'm going to sleep for a while. This dimension isn't good for my kind, I wasn't as ready as I thought."

"Will you be okay?"

"I will. Don't forget that as you have my strength, I have yours."

"And you have my love."

It doesn't hurt, this time. They know, of course, they know everything he feels. But hearing it almost makes their heart burst with joy.

"Always, my dear, always."

The first stop isn't Johan. It's not cowardice, just luck. He opens the blue dorms' hallway door and almost walks right into Jim and O'Brien. Seeing them first brings joy and relief. Then a wave of guilt overwhelms him so quickly that he feels like he's drowning on dry land. He's barely breathing when he apologizes, eyes wild like a scared animal.

Jim doesn't even let him finish before he takes him in his arms and hugs him with all his strength.

"You're worth it, Special Boy, you'll always be." Jim says and Judai wants to cry because really, this world doesn't deserve Jim Crocodile Cook and he certainly doesn't either.

O'Brien is smiling, but he's sterner which isn't a surprise. Judai is glad he doesn't hug him, even with his newfound strength he doesn't know if his bones would be able to take it.

"You owe me one favour," O'Brien days, "that should be enough for everything. I'll contact you."

Anything. Judai barely whispers it and O'Brien looks sad one second. Then he lightly punches him on the shoulder.

"Hurry before he goes to sleep." He advises.

That's a piece of advice Judai is both happy and terrified to take.

Johan cries when Judai gives him his cards back. It's joy, mostly, but Judai knows that Johan sees what none of the others saw. He's changed. His smiles don't reach his eyes. Johan doesn't suggest they go back to the Osiris dorms, where they always were before, together. He just tucks his family against his heart and waits for Judai to tell him what he needs to. So that’s what Judai does.

Johan is staring, mouth stubbornly closed once Judai is done. And Judai wants to beg him to say something, but he doesn't have that right.

"I… need time." Johan finally says. "I've been in Yubel's mind and I know they were… misguided, but…"

Yubel's reasons can be explained for sure. But justifying them is another story, especially to a boy they hurt so badly and tried to kill.

"I need time," Johan repeats, "I can't simply… Just give me some time to think."

And Judai's heart breaks a little, but it's better than most of the results he expected. So he gives him a sad smile and wishes him goodnight in a too small voice.

He sleeps at night and sees Yubel. They talk and smile and try to replace the awfulness of their last years with joy, but it's hard when dreams of death and fire and searing pain hit them with no warning.

A few days later, after too many screams, the first osiris students ask to change dorms so they can get a full night's sleep.

His friends walk on eggshells around him, but they don't get why he can't put it in the past, behind him like they all did. Judai doesn't understand how they can, he supposes it's different when you are the one doing terrible things.

“They’re so bright,” he mumbles in Yubel’s shoulder one night, “they act as if Dark World was just a bad dream. I can’t do that.”

More students leave the dorm. Judai doesn't care. He just wants to go back to sleep and see Yubel and forget that the world exists and is too bright and forgetful. There is no play pretend that everything is fine with Yubel. There is no risk to hurt others when he sleeps. And he's so tired, sleeping is worth the nightmares.

He doesn't see Johan again before the boy leaves the island.

Jim and O'Brien come to see him. Jim is petting Karen and smiling, rambling about how he intends to go back to the place he got the eye of orichalcum, trying to learn more about it. Before they leave, O'Brien gives him a letter. Judai expects the previously mentioned favour. He is greeted by Johan's handwriting.

_"Don't hesitate to call me for help."_ It says.

It's not yet acceptance and maybe Johan will never be able to feel how he used to, but it's friendship. It should be a good thing, he should be overjoyed.

In reality, Judai feels more empty than ever. He is so, so much more than human now. If he ever needs help, calling Johan would just put him in unnecessary danger.

He looks at the letter and carefully folds it on his desk.

That night, the nightmares are worse than ever. A few days later, even Manjoume, the last stubborn idiot, asks to leave the dorm. Judai hears him leave with a numb relief. It’s sad, but he feels better knowing he won’t risk seeing his angry, dying face everytime he goes out of his room.

“Do you ever regret fusing with me?” Yubel asks one night.

“Never.” He answers without even thinking about it.

“I made you into the Supreme King.”

“I always was the Supreme King and I’ll always be. You may have orchestrated the events that woke my powers up, but it was my anger, my grief and my loneliness that broke my soul in two. It was my rage that created a conquering tyrant. It was my pain that made me unable to stop him. They may have started calling me Supreme King when I was mad with power and too wrapped up in anguish to care, but nothing can change that it is who I am.”

“You don’t think it’s my fault?”

“I think you played a role the same way I played a role with your madness. It’s my responsibility as much as it’s yours.”

Fault is an ugly word, Judai hasn’t been using it much recently. Probably because it haunts his thoughts every second because everything is his fault and sometimes Yubel thinks he feels like every single little pain in the world was caused by him and he hates himself so much that they can only shower him with all their love to remind him that he was a child who should never have had to endure all the responsibilities he did.

Yubel hates themselves too, they suppose it doesn’t do anything to help him.

O’Brien’s favour comes in the form of a little red phone that he needs to answer right away and a few hours later, Yubel has a surprise temporary roommate. Honest is quiet, a solemn presence with a wounded heart and Yubel wishes they could say they were surprised but they’re not. Because while there is no fusion holding the spirit inside Judai’s soul, it’s no wonder the wonderboy would jump at the occasion to help another hurting being in search of shelter.

Yubel has had time to think again and again about the very moment Judai decided to fuse their souls. It warms their heart as much as it hurts to think about. It wasn’t the desperate move they believed it to be, really, it was just the logical choice for him. Emotionally speaking and practically speaking, he hadn’t hesitated because it was the only possibility for him, the only thing that made sense.

Judai remembers it too. It was a conscious decision made the very moment he remembered who they were. Suddenly, he knew everything he needed to and more importantly he knew how to win.

It was the first time, maybe, in his whole life where if he wanted to win, he needed to give up on victory. Because all he could see was Yubel, the one he had loved so much in his previous life and who he still loved as much. And while letting the worlds die was unacceptable, hurting Yubel anymore was something he just couldn’t do. He could save the worlds. He could save his friends. He could help Yubel. The only thing he had to sacrifice was his humanity and giving up on victory.

And it was such an obvious answer because how could he keep hurting Yubel after that? This was someone who sacrificed everything for him. This was someone who was at his side before and always would be. This was someone he loved. This was someone he could help.

_This was someone he loved. This was someone he could help._

Helping others was a complicated deal. Some were better helped by no help, or they became too dependent. Others dealt better with disguised help, distant help, small little steps of help. Most, when they asked for help, just wanted to get rid of the problem entirely by throwing brute force at it instead of dealing with it themselves.

Judai was bad at helping people and it wasn’t for lack of trying. He was only ever good at dueling and in his little sheltered world where no one seemed to share his passion for fun, it was hard to accept that it wasn’t always the solution. So he had to learn how to help, as hard as it was, and even harder, he had to learn that he couldn’t always help.

Honest was someone he could help, so he did. He didn’t even think twice. The spirit didn’t really take space in his soul and he wouldn’t pry. Yubel would ignore him, but they also stopped him from seeing the nightmares. These belonged to the two of them. As much as Judai would help Honest, he wouldn’t give himself to him the way he did to Yubel. They all knew his stay was only temporary, until they found his master.

There aren’t as many night talks for a while. Hiding your feelings is harder in your sleep.

The little red phone stays silent most of the last months of third year. Slowly, Judai starts emerging more from his little den of darkness. He was dragged out of his lonely corners by Asuka, by Sho and by Manjoume, sometimes with more force than he wished they used. There were days where even he can admit that isolating himself like he does isn’t good. There are others where the sun seems to be mocking him and he just wants to break down and cry in a place where no one can talk to him. He wishes they’d stop touching him and asking him his opinion and talking as if he could just smile and laugh with them like before.

Smiling and laughing do become easier, though. And once in a blue moon, he can look at a duel and have fun. He can rearrange his deck without feeling like drowning or like he’s cleaning a bloody sword.

He wonders if he would be good at wielding a sword. He knows he’s much stronger now. He always was pretty athletic, but the feats he could do now (but never tried. He knows he clings maybe a little too much to his humanity, but being different is scary. He’s always been a little bit different. Now he’s so, so different…) are far above humans’ limits.

Perhaps he should try exercising more, discovering what he can do at a rhythm he’s comfortable with. He’s still not entirely sure what he’s going to do once Duel Academia can’t be home anymore. He loves the Osiris dorms more than he ever loved any big empty house. He loves the small, uncomfortable rooms, the beautiful view and the soft sound of waves. He loves how he can sometimes hear the deep snore of an ancient deity, lulling him to sleep, maybe for a full night this time.

Even with all the dark memories he’s started associating with it, he doesn’t want to leave this place. But again, he rarely ever got what he wanted, right? So he’ll have to make do, as he always does.

All hell comes crashing down once again and Judai has enough of this, but at the same time it’s been three years and it’s already the fourth time, so he’s pretty sure his insane good luck comes with ‘doom magnet’ as a price. It’s more annoying than anything else, at this point. It becomes scary when O’Brien stops answering, it becomes one of the top ten worst days of his life when Saiou turns out to have betrayed them, it becomes so tiring when he has to escape from an exploding building to end up in front of some asshole who stole Johan’s family.

And there’s something wrong because Trueman is speaking too softly and kindly but at the same time, he’s destroying all of Johan’s precious family to summon a powerful monster and that’s so wrong, Johan doesn’t play like that and Judai is furious to see the gem beasts used that way, but he’s also tired, incredibly tired.

There is no end to the duel, just the feeling that a heavy fog got lifted from his mind when Johan finally manages to get Darkness’ influence away from him and Judai wishes he could be more happy to be held again by Johan, but he’s reeling. There are too many things happening at once. He didn’t know dark powers could hurt him, he’s been fighting the light for so long, he couldn’t have been prepared for that. It’s a rude awakening, but he doesn’t even have time to dwell on it because the whole town has disappeared and something is happening at Duel Academia and he really was fighting Johan. He could have hurt him again.

He also wishes they could hold each other for a longer time, without the end of the world as both the reason their embrace starts and ends.

Yubel is silent, as they tend to be the moment Johan appears and as they’ve mostly been since coming back here. As he’s driving the boat towards the place he still calls home, Judai wishes desperately that they would say something snarky, just to keep him grounded in the moment.

They answer his wishes later, when they remind him that he’s better than that and that he is not alone. He asks them to tone done the sass, but they both know he doesn’t mean it, he’s just too happy to see them for that.

When he lands the final blow against Darkness, there’s a note of finality to it. He is not thinking that nothing bad will ever happen again, but everything is clear in his mind.

Everything clicked when he felt Yubel’s arms against his shoulders, for barely one second before they left again to the confines of his soul, finally free of Honest’s company, finally strong enough to come and go as they please. This was the moment he saw Fujiwara, reunited with his most loyal friend, and the moment he finally realized.

He can help some people.

That’s more than he could have hoped for.

It’s not some grandiose heroic job he wished he had as a child (these are never so simple, are they) or a sincere demonstration of determination like Johan’s wish to be a bridge between humans and spirits. It’s a pretty simple thing.

Manjoume came back speaking to spirits and never made a big fuss about it, Johan could do it his whole life and neither seemed to have any issues with it (except for the Ojamas, but Judai knows Manjoume loves them, as unique as they are). But he also remembers Hayato’s confusion at hearing voices coming from nowhere. He remembers how Fubuki seems to draw dark powers to him but has no control over them or Kenzan losing his mind because of electromagnetic waves. He thinks about a young Fujiwara who didn’t know how to deal with his pain and ended up hurting his loyal spiritual guardian.

He remembers the thousands of people he killed when he awakened his powers.

So if he can just tell another lost kid that they’re not alone, maybe give them a few pointers, remind them that they’re not a monster, well it’s more than enough for him. It’s simple, it’s a responsibility he can endure and that can make him happy.

He can help.

That’s more than enough for him.

Yubel snorts fondly, but they never disagree.

Having prof Daitokuji with them is a blessing in disguise. Pharaoh can take care of himself, and the ghost is knowledgeable in so many subjects, Judai finds himself uncharacteristically eager to learn everything about the places he visits and the traditions he discovers. Whatever he doesn’t care about, Yubel listens with attention. It’s a good collaboration. It’s also pretty nice, having company as long as Pharaoh wants to stay with them. The big cat seems to like them too.

The last remnants of the Osiris dorms stick together. It’s almost poetic in some way.

After a few months, Judai finds himself on Asuka’s doorstep. He didn’t even know she lived here, they never exchanged addresses. As for every single kid he’s helped until then, he just followed his gut, which led him here.

Asuka is surprised, but then she smiles. She isn’t mad at him, which is always a welcome sight, he’s pretty sure most of his friends would scream at him instead of welcoming him. Sho, in particular, is probably still angry that he left with no warning.

“Fubuki is upstairs,” she tells him, “he won’t let me come near.”

Judai thanks her, tells her it’s good to see her, and follows her directives. Fubuki smiles weakly when he sees him and asks him how Asuka contacted him. Judai just chuckles in an embarrassed way and instead of answering with a lie, starts calming down the dark energy hanging around his friend. He thought Fubuki would have more time before this kind of thing would happen, but at least he can help. They talk about breathing and about fear and about how darkness feels. He can help his friend. This is like a weight off his chest and he doesn’t remember the last time he felt so light.

Asuka invites him to stay. Judai accepts because Fubuki isn’t taught enough.

In the following days, some of their talks are more light-hearted. Fubuki likes to joke about how he is being taught by his junior, Asuka likes to joke about how Judai became a teacher before she did. Judai laughs softly everytime, it’s small but it’s sincere. On the fourth day, Asuka takes a picture and gives it to Judai. Him and Fubuki are talking, smiling. Fubuki is looking better and Judai’s smile reaches his eyes. He thanks her sincerely.

Two days later, Fubuki has the basics down and is ready to experiment himself. He takes Judai’s number, just in case, tells him to keep in touch. When Judai goes near the door, he just says a short “Bye” to Asuka. She smiles and answers with “Bye, don’t lock the door by accident please.” and he’s so grateful that they don’t make him hug them or have long, tearful goodbyes.

It takes him a few more months to find the courage to go to Johan. They barely talked after the Darkness incident and he had to spend weeks to convince Yubel to not instantly disappear in the darkest part of his soul when he goes to find him. They need to talk it out or they won’t be able to understand each other, he says. And he’s right, of course, but Yubel sees Johan and they still see that prettier mirror. Johan hasn’t done any of the terrible things they have and Judai loves him. He loves them too, they know that fact, but they’ve never had to share him before. It’s frightening.

Judai spends nights convincing them, warmly, reminding them that they’re a package deal now. That yes, he loves Johan, but that it doesn’t mean he loves Yubel any less.

There are days when he can’t help but wonder how much of his love for Yubel stayed with him when he couldn’t remember them. He stares at Flame Wingman, that card he used to call his favourite, a fusion between a male and a female spirit, a monster that inflicted damage depending on the destroyed monster’s attack points… He thinks about Johan, who he learnt to love for who he was pretty fast, but who he felt attracted to the moment he saw the blue hair and the green eyes, he remembers thinking that he expected a lower pitched voice.

He knows he loves Johan for who he is, but he sometimes wonder about how eager he was to meet that beautiful stranger.

Yubel once tells him that he can’t exactly control finding other people hot and that they’re almost flattered the man who was his gay awakening might have looked just a little bit like them. Judai is too busy coughing out the water that went down the wrong way the moment they started talking to stop them from teasing him anymore. Yubel is laughing about that for days afterwards, he can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed for long.

There is no shame in having a type, after all.

Johan almost punches him when he see hims. Or at least, that’s what Judai feels he’s going to do. Instead, he takes him in his arms and twirls him around like Judai is some kind of toddler who wants to pretend he can fly (Judai is pretty sure he can actually fly, now, but he’s not about to try).

“You’ve grown.” he ends up stuttering when Johan finally lets him down.

The boy (a young man now, really) smiles.

“You haven’t.”

It’s not even a low blow. Judai knows he’s small. He’s barely Asuka’s size, all of his friends except for Sho are taller than he is and they keep growing while his body will probably be stuck at seventeen for a long time.

They talk. They smile and joke. Johan tells him about what he’s been doing in the pro circuit and how he’s thinking of taking another leave to go search for lost spirits. Judai tells him about the people he’s been helping and how their projects align and maybe they should go together? It’s a good idea. But they both know that for this beautiful project to be, another discussion needs to happen.

It is tense.

Judai stays silent during most of it at first, which wouldn’t be an issue if Yubel and Johan weren’t also silent. He ends up throwing his arms up in the air and just leaves the room mumbling something in an old language he used to know in another life. Yubel winces and turns to Johan.

“I don’t like you.” They say.

“Well aren’t you nice.”

“I am not. He is the nice one. And you make him happy.”

“Us getting along would make him happier.”

That’s a surprise. Yubel tilts their head, a little like a confused cat.

“You would get along with me?”

“I know you. You hurt me, you hurt a lot of people. But I know how desperate you were. And I can only stay scared and angry for so long. Sure, it’s going to be awkward and I don’t especially look forward to spending time with you, but I would do it.”

Judai is worth it is what he doesn’t say but Yubel knows that’s what he’s thinking. And they agree, but...

“I possessed your body and ripped your soul from it. You can’t be okay with me.”

Johan looks at them, eyes narrowed. They don’t know what he sees and it annoys them. They definitely don’t expect what he says.

“I’ve always wondered if the heavy leather clothes that showed off my muscles were supposed to make my body look more attractive.”

They stare at him in shock and slowly, a smirk finds its way on Johan’s face.

“Think it might have worked in other circumstances?”

It definitely would have, Yubel thinks, but no way are they telling him that. Johan seems happy just laughing about it anyway, and then he asks for stories about their travels, the more unsavory parts that Judai doesn’t want to talk about. So Yubel tells him about that kid who almost got killed by a mob before they got to her because she was talking to a ghost and knew things she shouldn’t. They tell him about the young man who refused to listen again and again to their words or to reason and lost his mind in front of their eyes despite their best efforts to help. They tell him about the ones they couldn’t save and the ones who went through hell, about the misery that sometimes came with the happiness.

Judai acknowledges these things, he knows they’re here, but they’re not what keeps him going and what he would like to tell his friends. He thinks they’d worry about him if they knew how dark things get sometimes. But Johan is different and wants to know every dark spot in Judai’s life to help him as much as he can and that’s something Yubel can agree with. If it’s too much for him, he’s not made to accompany them anyway.

Johan thanks them and they’re not friends by far. They still don’t feel at ease in the same room, especially with no buffer. Plus, Yubel never had to share Judai before and Johan never had to share his family. It’s a first for the both of them, to have someone else wanting someone they love the same way they do. And they’re possessive. They don’t like having to share.

They love Judai too much not to try. In a way, despite their dislike for each other, both hope that it will work out.

It’s still a relief when Judai comes back.

Johan needs to finish some sponsored tournaments and events before any plans can be made, so Judai and his little cat-ghost-spirit royal entourage will travel alone again for a while.

When his gut isn’t driving him crazy to find the next person who needs him, he wanders around and visits the people he cares for. Jim welcomes him as warmly as ever and shows him so many wonders he almost never leaves. O’Brien often shows up wherever he is for a mission or another, Judai sometimes wonders if he chipped him in his sleep but never brings himself to ask. He likes their impromptu meetings anyway.

Edo acts stingy and cold, but he makes clear to every person who wonders about the unknown boy hanging around a world class celebrity that Judai is his guest and should be treated as such. When they’re both ready for it, Judai makes the D-Heroes tangible for a time, so that Edo can touch them and talk to them. It’s nice, it really is. Manjoume is pretty much the same but more prickly and with triple the threats of siccing the Ojamas on him if he goes anywhere near the press. Judai finds it hilarious in a way, and Yubel appears just long enough to glare at the offending creatures, which wasn’t necessary, probably.

Manjoume refuses the offer Edo accepted with (he says) no hesitation. Judai could pretend he doesn’t see the curiosity in his eyes that actually made him slightly hesitate, but it’s always hard to resist teasing the great Manjoume Thunder.

He visits Saiou too, makes sure he and Mizuchi are alright, assures Saiou that he isn’t mad, just disappointed (he knows it’s worse, but the man takes it in stride and promises to call him if he feels anything weird again.) and leaves when he’s made sure nothing has been trying to influence them again.

Kenzan is always happy to see him and Judai loves how in tune he is with his own singularities. He sees his friend and hopes one day all the people he helped will be like him. Kenzan likes learning how to control himself and it’s a joy to hear him simply speak about what he loves once they’ve traded pointers.

Rei is happy to see him too, of course, and is the unlucky exception to Yubel’s jealousy. They find the little girl’s crush adorable and Judai’s horrified reactions funnier than anything they’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because they don’t feel threatened. Judai still really hopes she changes her mind soon enough, because while he cares for her, this childish infatuation won’t bring her anything good.

He wonders if he should tell her he’s married to a dragon spirit or that he likes men more than girls. Both are true, but it feels like a brutal way to push away her advances, he just doesn’t know how to be more delicate. Kenzan laughs at him without giving him any ideas and suggests he spends the night at the dorm with them. Judai thinks of an old abandoned building that not a year ago was the closest thing he had to a home and a dull ache invades his chest. He swallows and kindly refuses.

Sho actually does punch him. And hurts himself in the process, but Judai promises to never talk about it to anyone (Yubel made no such promise, though). They’ve grown distant, he knows. They had been growing distant since Kenzan arrived and started vying for Judai’s attention too. Sho and Kenzan had spent that year at each other’s throats, actually spending more time fighting over Judai with each other than with the boy himself. Judai would never blame them for that, he knows he could have made it clearer that he didn’t care for their squabbling and would rather they talk to him than act as if they knew what was good for him better than he did. But he didn’t. Having people fight over him was a new experience at the time, truly, he wasn’t really sure how to calm them down and wondered if it was a thing that happened in a lot of friendships. So he didn’t do anything.

Then Johan arrived. Oh, his friendship with Sho took a hit when Johan entered the picture. Dark World was the last kick. Judai is sometimes almost surprised they’re still talking or that Sho still cares so much for him.

Turns out Sho is more mad that it took him so long to visit him than he is about him leaving without saying goodbye, who would have guessed. He then talks about this new league he’s been creating with his brother and Judai can’t help but be impressed at all he accomplished in so little time. Sho is a frightening opponent when it comes to dueling, but when it comes to life outside of it, he tends to be too shy to really make a stand. Kaiser waving a celery stick, still stuck in a wheelchair, is scarier than Sho could ever be, though, which might be how they do it. Whatever the means, the end is impressive and when Judai leaves, he’s wonderfully happy for them.

One day, he stops at a little shop in Domino city and smiles at the young man at the counter.

“I didn’t expect you that soon.” Yugi Muto says.

“I just came back from some temporal problem. Saving the world, the usual. You were there so I figured I’d tell you that I came back home safe and sound.”

The King of Games smiles and honestly it hasn’t been that long for either of them and they’re not even that close, but there’s something humbling about chilling with your childhood hero in between two life threatening events. Yugi indulges him. He doesn’t reveal how he knows so much about Judai. Judai doesn’t care.

The next step is to do the thing he dreaded the most for the last four years.

He stares at the big house for hours before daring to turn his key in the keyhole. It still fits, which is more surprising than it should be. No one had any reason to change the lock after all.

The biggest surprise is the unknown man inside, who is dressed to the nine and looks at him like he’s an intruder.

“What? Who are you? What are you doing here?”

Judai hasn’t been a big talker for more than a year. There is a big cat in his arms and a travel bag on his shoulder, his jacket is dirty and ripped at some places, not to talk about the rest of his clothes, but he just turned a key to open the door of a rich, prim and proper mansion. There is no answer that comes to mind and he just gapes at the stranger until a voice comes around.

His mother is still the unnaturally beautiful woman she was the last time he saw her on TV and he can see that it takes her a few seconds to realize who he is.

“Oh,” she says, “you’re bigger.”

Scratch his previous thought, that’s the biggest surprise. She remembers him enough to know that he gained a few centimeters since the last time she saw him, when he was barely fifteen. He nods silently and she stares at Pharaoh.

“Is that a cat?”

_“No,”_ Yubel snarks in his head, _“that’s Karen the crocodile.”_

It’s enough to drag him down to the present with a small smile so he just looks at his mother and says: “I didn’t know anyone would be here.”

The man interrupts them.

“Wait. Is this you son?”

Misako Fuwa is kind of famous. Not the most famous actress for sure, but she had a big moment of glory, some twenty years ago, and the press was an absolute hell. Maybe it was to protect her child that she hid his existence and spent so much time away from him, but there isn’t really any bond between them at this point. He can respect the woman she is, but there’s barely any affection there.

And while everyone remembers her ill fated marriage with that brain surgeon he calls ‘father’ but isn’t really interested in seeing again, most people aren’t ready for an affair with a woman who has a child. So Misako Fuwa smiles and says:

“Oh no, darling, this is just a boy who lived here for a while. He left some years ago to go to a boarding school. How did your studies go, dear?”

In a way, this is the truth more than if she had admitted he was her son. Pharaoh starts moving in his arms so he readjusts him on his shoulder. He never had good grades, she probably doesn’t expect anything great, but she’s too polite to stop herself from asking, especially in front of an actual guest.

“Graduated top of my class.” he tells her - which is the truth as he was the only Osiris left. “Sorry for the disturbance, I’ll come and grab my stuff at another time.”

He almost wants to thank her for holding on to it. She looks contrite and he wonders if she gave his room to one of her lovers or if she’s actually sad that he’s already leaving. It doesn’t matter that much. There aren’t many things he wanted to get in that house, and he can live without them if necessary.

When he leaves the house, he wonders if, if he comes back later, she will have changed the lock this time.

Johan invites him to the party that celebrates the end of the tournament and tells him that he can bail, of course, but Manjoume, Edo and Sho all tell him that he’d better come or else. Judai looks at the phone and wonders when all these other numbers added themselves to it. Misawa’s still isn’t there, but they’re working on it and if there’s one person who can create this kind of interdimensional communication device, that’s Misawa for sure.

He promises his friends he’ll come, but warns that he’ll be late.

It’s just a hunch, but there’s something he wants to check at Duel Academia. He talked to Hayato about it, earlier. Hayato could only ever hear spirits, he could never see them, but his ears never stopped working. He could hear Yubel when they spoke so only Judai could hear them, which was honestly an impressive feat. So they talked and then Hayato mentioned snores that sounded familiar.

So it’s just a hunch, but it’s a holiday, and no one is on the island. So Judai goes there and walks, slowly, down a path he walked for years until he reaches the small dingy red building.

Yubel and him are used to work together, now. He’s more at ease when he uses their powers than he ever was. And as their mismatched eyes light up, they can see him.

The magnificent red dragon, slumbering around the dorm.

A shrine, Judai thinks, without the card where its spirit used to rest, the sky dragon of Osiris took the dorm named after him as a shrine.

And what a lonely shrine it must be now, with all the students gone. It is bound to be destroyed, there are no more followers.

So Judai walks towards the dorm. The dragon opens an eye and rises.

For an eternity, they just look at each other, more awed than anything. In front of Judai is the servant of a god, a magnificent creature who only ever allowed the nameless pharaoh to bring him to the human world.

But Judai is a king, and Judai has inside him the darkness that created the very universe. He’s slowly realizing it, wondering if that’s why the winged dragon of Râ never struck him down all these years ago, if unconsciously these superior beings thought of him as more than human even back then.

Judai thinks it’s an arrogant thought. Maybe he has the power of a god, maybe he is more than human. But he’s made mistakes like one and he probably will keep doing so.

He gives Osiris a small smile and gives it a respectful bow.

“You must be so lonely,” he says, “would you like some company until we find you another shrine?”

It’s an offer, not a request. He may be a king. He may be more. But it would be arrogant to think himself superior to that beautiful creature. He remembers Daitokuji talking about the golden eye of Horus and wonders if they have anything to do with his own. He doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know, at least for the moment. All of this is still too big for him, he’d rather keep walking one step at a time.

The dragon thinks for a while, or at least Judai believes it’s thinking. When it leaves the small building, uncurling like a long snake, there’s a question resonating in Judai’s head.

_“Can you keep up with me, young king?”_

Yubel appears in all their gigantic deformed glory and delicately takes Judai in their claws, ready to race or even fight a god if that’s what the dragon wants. And Judai smiles. It’s the first time Yubel has taken their true form again since their fateful duel, years ago. They’re self-conscious about it, he knows, it’s ugly, they think.

As if he could find anything about Yubel ugly.

Osiris snorts peacefully and Yubel spreads their wings, calmer than before. The dragons fly up in the sky and leave the island behind and it’s one of these moments where Judai wonders how his life came to this, flying in the sky, cradled in the claws of a dragon he calls his love.

During the night, with its divine protection gone, a wave comes and crashes on the red dorm, destroying it beyond repairs.

It’s a farewell to the only place he ever called home, but Judai is flying high with his soulmate and a god, he’s about to see the love of his mortal life and he knows he’ll keep helping people as long as he can.

It’s a new feeling, not something he’s been used to in the last years, but he thinks he’ll be okay.


End file.
